Author Archives: rwhisper

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If…

If I shout, you might ignore me.
If I speak, you may not care.
If I whisper, you might hear me;
If you listen; if you dare.

Mumblings

Celebrate
The birth
The death
The life between
The love
The loss
The hurt
The pain
The joy
The smile
The frown
Laughing
Crying
Screaming
Shouting
Sighing
The boredom
The excitement
The just don’t care
The care too much
The anticipation
The disappointment
Hoping
Praying
Losing
Finding
The friend
The lover
The dream
The nightmare
The sleeping
The waking
Awakening
Realising
Forgetting
Regretting
The celebration

Time to clean up the Blog pages

I’ve cleared out some of the garbage and left just the bits that I need to keep. I may or may not add to this page in the future but the domain name is paid for until 2022, so it’s not going anywhere soon.

Demonspawn

All of my life seems to be good at the moment and yet the same old demons returned today with a vengeance.

I know I’ll get through it, I always do, but the monster is well and truly out of the closet and, if you’ll excuse the metaphorical mixing, the Djinn will return to the bottle when (s)he’s good and ready!

Monster

There’s a monster in my closet,
At least there was last night;
I didn’t really see it
But it gave me such a fright.

There’s a monster in my closet,
Of that, I’m fairly certain;
It hides among the shadows
And gently moves the curtain.

There’s a monster in my closet,
It used to be quite shy;
But then I caught a glimpse of it
From the corner of my eye.

There’s a monster in my closet,
But now it’s getting bolder;
It has to make strange noises
To scare me, now I’m older.

The monster in my closet,
Has now come out to play;
I’m sure this is the first time
It’s seen the light of day.

The monster from my closet,
Thinks it’s really funny;
It follows me when shopping
And then spends all my money.

The monster from my closet,
Has a darker side to it;
It sneaks up when I’m happy
And makes me feel like shit.

The monster from my closet,
Has chased away my friends;
We’ve only got each other now
But that’s not where it ends…

Because soon there’ll be no closet,
No monster in a hole;
It’s time to get my life back
And time to take control.

I’ll work my fingers to the bone,
I’ll save for a deposit;
Buy myself a nice little home
No fears, no monster, no closet!

Scary Place

Scary Place was one of my earliest works, from a time I would rather forget. A torrid time where I shut out the world after a 3-day solid drinking binge and a failed suicide attempt – a jammed shotgun mechanism is not a cry for help! But if I were to cast it from my mind, the lesson would be unlearned and such a fragile sanity may shatter beyond repair. These were the first words that finally brought me back from the very precipice of oblivion:

In the depths of despair I sit, amongst the other dregs of humanity
Staring blankly at a wall of silence – no fear, no feeling, no thought,
No reason, no clarity and little left of my sanity –
Nightmares are free and dreams cannot be bought.

In desperation I open what’s left of my mind to the world around me,
Fighting to find some shred of earthly ties.
Realisation of what I am now astounds me –
I have to act, cannot stay here; reclaim my status in her eyes.

But wait! That’s how I arrived in this place of shattered illusion.
Reminders of my past bring back the pain.
The emptiness and confusion
Return, to steal my mind again.

Crawl back inside myself and leave the world outside.
It’s not so bad in here after all.

Unfinished Apathy.

Basically, what it says on the tin! I never did get round to completing this – one day, maybe…

A million miles away from you
In the seat right next to me
You look in my direction
And yet you fail to see
I’m here with you and I’m alone.
.
.
Will you cry by my grave,
Or even notice I’m gone?

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Title: Poems and Strange Mumblings
Type: Blog

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I am not

I only exist outside of space and time
I hover at the edge of perception just beyond your field of vision
You may have caught a glimpse of me from the corner of your eye
But you dismissed me – I can’t exist
For, if I do, a myriad of explanations of the unexplained come to fruition
And a single moment in time is extinguished forever
The single moment that you realised I could be
The moment that I was, even though I cannot be
The moment that betrays your life
The moment…has passed